Home Nursing Rancho Santa Fe – When an Aging Parent Has to Move in with You – How to Prepare


Having a parent move in with you after years of living apart can take some getting used to. It can be an adjustment for both of you, your parent and any other relative that is involved. Here are some ways you can be prepared:

Set up rules – These rules aren’t going to be like your parents’ rules when you were in high school. Your parent is still an adult. They deserve the same basic respect that you would expect from anyone; they deserve even more than that because they are your parents.

That said, make sure that your parent knows where your boundaries are, for example, in dealing with your children. Talk about privacy issues for every member of the family that will be affected by the move.

Delegate responsibility – If your parent needs some care, devise a system that will help you figure out when you need to be with your parent to help them with their needs. If your parent can still take care of themselves, allow them the same independence you’d hope for in the same position. Find out who will handle the regular chores.

Ask how everyone feels – Chances are your parent would prefer to live on their own, so talk about ways they will still be able to feel independent. Ask your spouse and children how they feel having your parents move into your home. Getting feelings out in the open will make the transition easier.

Get clear about how YOU feel. Are you really cut out to take care of your parent to the degree that they need it? How are you going to feel day in and day out seeing your parent there?

Sort out financial issues – Get a plan in place now that describes who will pay for what. This can often be one of the most difficult things to work through, so make sure to talk about this topic calmly with your parent and your spouse. Put down in writing who will be financially responsible for which aspects of the living arrangements and stick to it.

Prepare the house – Make sure that you don’t have things laying around that an older person might trip on, for starters. Make sure that your parent’s bedroom is comfortable and that they can reach anything they need to reach. If your parent has a wheelchair, make sure that the house is wheelchair accessible.

Know when it is not working – Some family members are not cut out to be a caregiver. After a while, if the situation becomes that untenable, have a plan in place for alternate arrangements. It can be painful to admit that you can’t do it, but your parent’s care is what is most important and if they can get better help elsewhere that might be the best place for them.

Living together at this late stage can be a wonderful way to reconnect in what may be the last years of your parent’s life. If it takes a bit of time to get used to, isn’t it worth it?

Linnea Goodrich is the owner of Firstat Nursing Services, which is the only Home care Agency in San Diego that is both State licensed and certified by the Alzheimer’s Association.  Firstat Nursing Services has been providing a higher standard of home nursing, home health and home care services for elderly, disabled and injured people in the greater San Diego area since 1997.  To pick up a copy of her free report “Critical Questions You Must Ask Before You Hire a Home Care Provider,” Visit, http://FirstatofSanDiego.com

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